Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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