I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
