you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
