This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
