She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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