I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
