A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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