I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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