My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize