I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
