Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
