I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
