Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
