Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I wish costco sold astroglide.

(248): View more from Michigan

i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.

Fav 41 3293 1450
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.

Fav 13 5333 1007
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(602): View more from Arizona

you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.

Fav 16 6389 827
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(281): View more from Texas

Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.

Fav 11 8118 1669
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(847): View more from Illinois

u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends

Fav 14 4629 2257
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to

Fav 4 1781 855
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.

Fav 23 1272 3507
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(765): View more from Indiana

Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!

Fav 1 488 247
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.

Fav 0 146 16
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