I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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