I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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