some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
