@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
