Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
