ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
