vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
