ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
