She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
