Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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