This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
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