Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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