I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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