apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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