Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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