Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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