My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Send help, water and tortillas.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
