bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
