so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
