I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
