i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my shit smells like andre
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
