They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
