I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
