Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
