I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
