Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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