google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
