you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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