i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
