Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
