So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
