i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
