just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
