Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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