Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
