i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
